Just Listen

Mark Goulston ★★★★★

Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone

I’ve found this to be a practical and helpful self-help/motivational kind of book. Lots of good advice there.

as long as your amygdala stays on “simmer” and isn’t pushed into boiling over, you can continue to access your upper brain, which empowers you to pause, reflect, consider options, and make smart choices. When your amygdala hits the boiling point, however, it’s all over.

“Mark, all I do is listen. I listen in meetings. I listen to my coworkers. I listen to my spouse. I listen to my kids. Nobody ever shuts up.”

“It occurs to me, Jim, that you spend too much time trying to be interesting,” he said. “Why don’t you invest more time being interested?”

The most successful people are those who don’t have any illusions about who they are.

When you bare your neck, however—when you find the courage to say “I’m afraid” or “I’m lonely” or “I don’t know how to get through this”—the other person will immediately mirror your true feelings. It’s biology; he or she can’t help it.